Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Fear of humans. I suffer from it now.
Once in a while I just need to s-c-r-e-a-m everybody, get lost and stay away from me!
Humans, you bring so much joy to my life. Yet you bring forth an equal amount of pain.
Every individual has their own set of quirks and problems. No one's blaming you for being who you are. So don't expect I'll change to be who you want me to be for your convenience. I am who I am. Unless there is a need in the Spirit to repent and change for the better, I am still a work-in-progress.
So by the way, I am private, reserved and self-seeking. I get cross easily at injustice and flamboyance. It is not in my nature to probe into the affairs of others and I'd never point a gun at their temple to make them tell me about their lives. Yet I totally wouldn't mind if they shared and my sense of loyalty and general compassion for mankind would automatically kick in. I may seem like I don't care but if you were to have a talk at length with me you'd find that I care too much. I like to be left alone unless the counsel of others is voluntarily sought, hence I assume that people in general think likewise and I'd strongly respect the space each person needs. I am not big on gifts towards friends and have no idea why I haven't done anything concrete to break this culture. But I treat every thread of friendship as gold and inscribe every name in my heart solemnly. I try to render advice and encouragement to friends when they share their lives with me not because I think I know it all, because I truly care and want the best for them.
Now here is the bottom line. I have not loved the way God loves and I can never meet His mark. But if you come to me with a gentle, seeking spirit and open arms, I will receive you with love and empathy. If you come with bitterness towards me, I'd suggest you sort yourself out first. If you do not come, then you have not sought my counsel and I am in no position to support you. But in all circumstances, I do pray that Heavenly Father will help you.
I wish more of my friends or acquaintances will understand this point about me. Forget all the rubbish about "you have your own things I don't want to waste your time" or "you don't seem to care so why would I want to make you care". Listen, this is my promise. If you approach me and I disregard you, I owe it to you. If you don't approach me, you owe it to yourself. May you then have a greater accountability partner and find your solace elsewhere.
Just want to end this with the basics I hold on to:
Ecclesiastes 4: 9-13
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Proverbs 27:5-6
Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 22:24
Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
i left my footprints (:
00:44Y
